I hate all girls vehemently.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
