please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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