So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
i out mim tonsoeep
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
