DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
