If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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