Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize