I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
