so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
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