The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
