no, he came in my armpit
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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