you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
