dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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