so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
