Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
