yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize