So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize