Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I know her cup size but not her name....
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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