New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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