Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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