she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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