Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
