in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
