Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I yelled at your uterus for you.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
