Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
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walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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