But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
