i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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