I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
