it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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