wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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