Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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