some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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