The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
