i already hear my dad disowning me
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
