Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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