And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
