Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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