I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
