New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize