you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
