Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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