Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
She even gives head with a lisp.
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The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
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We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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