remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
