Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
