So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
is it fun? or sober?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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