i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
