Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
