normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I think I sprained my soul last night
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
