Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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