I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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