I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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