How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
