so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize