Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
