we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
