That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
