Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
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Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
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Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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