every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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