I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Randomize
