am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize