Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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