i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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