We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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