just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
