Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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