no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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