he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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